“My
Perfect Moment”
Someday.Someday I will leave this place.
That day will be a good day.
Perfect, in fact.
I am a firm believer that dreams are better than reality.
But that doesn’t stop me from hoping. Hoping that over time, things will get
better, I will get better. That one day, everything will be perfect and that
that day I will step onto a plane and leave all of this behind.
All of what I never wanted.
All of what I never deserved.
That day I will sit in an uncomfortable seat, cramped
between two strangers and I will smile, my lips will crack with the unfamiliar
pull that stretches across my face but I won’t care, because I would have
finally done what I had been planning to do for the better part of my teenage
life.
The passengers would glance at me sideways and they would
think I was crazy for smiling so much, for smiling so wide and without malice.
But I wouldn't care, I wouldn't care about any of them, in that moment, that
perfect moment when the seatbelt sign flashed on and the plane began to pull
up, higher and higher until we sat amongst the clouds I would be oblivious to
everyone, to everything outside the perfect bubble that encapsulated my mind. I
would sigh in contentment as I subtly fought the passenger next to me for the
armrest.
Most people live in the future to escape the present. That
is what I do. I replay my perfect moment in my head over and over again until
it feels so real I can almost hear the roar of the engine as the plane bustles
through the clear skies. I’ve never wanted something so thoroughly, so
completely and without regret in my entire life. It is that thought that keeps
me going.
Because without it, I would be lost.
Irretrievably lost.
It hasn’t happened yet, it may not be happen anytime soon,
but if I promise myself one thing in my entire life it will be this-
There will come a day, a day where the sun is shining, a day
where the sky is the bluest I have ever seen and the wind is crisp with clear
intentions, and that day, that day with all it’s beauty will be the day I get
in my car, the day I drive myself to the airport and the day I get on the first
plane that will take me away to what could only be described as paradise. My
paradise.
It will happen.
Someday.
I will sit in an airplane that smells like cleaning supplies
mixed with air spray, I will sit there cramped and uncomfortable silently vying
for the armrest. For twenty-two hours I will sit in my gateway to paradise,
with the biggest grin on my face, endlessly hoping that my dreams become a
reality, that just this once, I could wake up in a new city, in a new country
and know without a shadow of doubt that my reality was better than any dream I
could ever possibly have.
That all this waiting and hoping, dreaming and plotting was
worth it, that I could finally get off my plane and walk out into the night
sky, the stars covered by buildings, skyscrapers and bright flashing lights,
the people busy and walking hurriedly unaware of anyone or anything around
them, ignorant to my lost eyes and wide smile.
That I could stand there
blissfully happy and know, that I was finally where I wanted to be, finally where
I belonged, that I was finally home.
I’m going to get out of here someday and when I do,
That day, that moment, will be…
Perfect.
